When do you send save the dates, and do you need them at all?

When to send save the date cards

Six months is the window for most weddings. It is far enough ahead that people can book time off and hold the weekend, and close enough that the card does not get put in a drawer and forgotten. Wedding save the dates sent fifteen months out are a card nobody can act on yet.

Two things move that window:

• Guests traveling from abroad. Send nine months ahead so they can watch for flights at a sensible price.
• A date near Thanksgiving, Christmas or a holiday weekend. Add two months. Family weekends get claimed a year ahead.

Whatever the window, the invitation itself still goes out six to eight weeks before the wedding. The save the date does not replace it; my wedding invitations guide has that whole timeline.

How timing differs for destination and out-of-town guests

• A local wedding, guests nearby. Six months. Or none at all: if the wedding is less than six months away, the invitation on its own gives people enough notice.
• Out-of-town guests. Six to eight months, so they can plan a trip rather than a day.
• A destination wedding. Nine to twelve months, and send it to everyone, because everyone is traveling. This is the wedding save the dates were invented for.
• A short engagement. Within six months there is no room for a save the date. A message now and the invitation in a few weeks does the same work.
• A small guest list. Twenty people you talk to every week do not need a card to hold a date. Send one if you want the moment to feel like something, not because etiquette insists.

Who should receive a save the date

Everyone you are certain to invite, and nobody else. A save the date is a promise of an invitation, and un-inviting someone later is the one mistake no card can fix. If you have a maybe list, the maybe list does not get one.

Address it to the household, and include the plus-one by name if they are invited. If you have not settled partners yet, leave it at the couple’s names and settle it on the invitation.

What goes on a save the date, and what stays off

The whole point of a save the date is that it is short. On the card:

• Your two names. First names are fine; this is the card for people who know you.
• The date. Written out in words, so there is no month-day confusion for the cousin overseas.
• The town, or the city and state. Enough for someone to know whether they are booking a flight.
• One line that says more is coming.“Invitation to follow.” That is the whole line.

Off the card: the venue, the time, the registry, the dress code and anything to reply to. Those belong on the invitation, when they are decided and final. A save the date that names the venue becomes wrong the day the venue changes, and venues change.

Design and wording for save the dates

Every design in my shop was drawn by a person, so the fonts, the spacing and the colors are already chosen and you cannot accidentally undo them. The only two decisions left are which design and what the words say. Three practical notes:

• Keep the top line short. On Pencil Us In, my save the date with watercolor eucalyptus around a white panel, the line above your names fits about five words. Watch the preview as you type and stop when it looks right.
• Write the date the long way.“September 23, 2028” reads the same in every time zone. Numbers alone do not.
• It does not have to go with the invitation. Nobody holds the save the date from January next to the invitation from June. Choose it for how it looks on its own.

Wording examples for family, friends and destination guests

The form on Pencil Us In has five boxes: a top line, your name, your partner’s name, the words beside the date, and the date itself. Eight top lines you can type straight in, from formal to the one for the group chat:

1. Formal: “Together with their families”
2. Classic: “Please save the date for the wedding of”
3. Warm: “We are getting married”
4. The one the design arrives with: “We are tying the knot!”
5. Casual: “Mark your calendar”
6. Destination: “Pack a bag for Tuscany”
7. Out-of-town family: “Come to Vermont in June”
8. Short engagement, invitation close behind: “Hold the date, details soon”

The line that says the invitation is coming goes in the message you send with the file, along with anything about travel: “Formal invitation to follow in the spring. We have a hotel block at the inn; the details are on our website.” Two sentences. The card holds the date; the message holds the logistics.

Digital save the dates versus printed cards

Digital save the dates arrive the day you make them, cost one price however many guests you have, and reach the aunt in another state and the friend abroad in the same tap. A printed card costs around $2 to $3 per household with the envelope and the stamp, takes a week or two to arrive, and lands on a fridge, where it does its job for months.

Most couples want both, and both are what you get. Send the PNG by message to everyone tonight, and print a few from the PDF for the grandparents and the fridge. The one honest concession: if all you want is the date in people’s calendars, a text does the job, and you do not need a designed card for that. Send a save the date when you want the moment to feel like the start of something.

The longer case for sending files rather than mailing cards is in my digital invitations guide.

Both files: which one you use for what

Both files arrive together, so there is nothing to choose between. The question is which one you use for what:

• The PNG is for sending. Attach it to a message, an email or the family group chat. It opens on any phone without an app.
• The print-ready PDF is for printing. It is sized at 5 × 7 inches, at print resolution, with the colors set for print. Take it to a print shop or print it at home on card.

A print shop will ask three things, and here are the answers: the size is 5 × 7, the file is already print-ready at full resolution, and 110 lb cover is the card weight to ask for. If they ask about bleed, say the design has none and prints from the file as it is. The technical part was done when the design was drawn. For your own printer, my print at home guide has the settings and the paper to buy.

Name the file something you will find in March. “Save the date, Rebecca and Oliver.pdf” beats a string of numbers.

How my instant downloads and personalization work

Four steps, and no account at any of them:

1. Pick the design. The save the dates sit with the wedding designs; Pencil Us In is $8.
2. Type your words.Your names, the date, your top line, in a form on the design’s page. The preview redraws as you type, and what you see is exactly what you print.
3. Pay once. The checkout takes your email address, and that is the only thing it asks for.
4. Open your inbox. Both files arrive the moment the payment goes through: the print-ready PDF and the PNG for sending.

If you spot a mistake after the files arrive, including a typo of your own, one free revision is included. The link is in the delivery email; the form comes back with your wording filled in, you correct it, and the new files are sent. One revision, no reason asked.

That is the whole product. You buy the save the date on its own for $8, both files are in your inbox the moment you pay, and nothing about it commits you to the invitation. Pick that one when you are ready, from me or from anyone. If you do come back, Rings & Roses is the invitation most couples choose next, a separate piece at its own price.

Privacy, photos and AI: what to check before you send

My save the dates carry no photo, and that is the privacy answer in one line: there is no picture of you to be copied, scraped or trained on. The card is your names and a date.

If you are adding an engagement photo elsewhere, two checks before it goes anywhere:

• Ask your photographer. Most engagement sessions come with permission to use the photos on your own cards; some do not, and a quick message settles it.
• Send it, do not post it. A save the date sent by message goes to the people you chose. The same picture posted publicly is available to anyone and to every image-scraping crawler. My guide on wedding photo privacy covers what to do if the photos are already out there.

If the message links to a wedding website, check that the site asks for a password before it shows the schedule and the photos.

Next steps: printing, mailing and sending digitally

Once the files are in your inbox:

• Sending by message.Send the PNG to each household in its own message, not a group thread, so every reply lands with you and nobody’s number is shared. Add the two-sentence note about the invitation to follow.
• Sending by email. Attach the PNG; it shows as a picture in the email itself. Put the date in the subject line so it can be found again.
• Printing a few. Print from the PDF on 110 lb cover, and mail them in a 5 × 7 envelope with a standard stamp.
• Keeping a list. Write down who got one. It is the first version of your guest list, and the invitation will go to exactly these people.

Then put the invitation in your calendar for six to eight weeks before the wedding, and do not think about the paper again until then.

Questions people ask